Drabbles: Avengers (And Friends) Style
by jedidah
Summary: Drabbles Aplenty. Humor, Romance, Angst, and the Possibility of S.H.I.E.L.D. shall be Contained Within. Crack Pairings Shall Come Into Play. Magic Will Be Used. Dummy Will Rule Supreme! SPOILERS! (Requests Welcome. Rules: Nothing M Rated. No Slash, but Bromance is Encouraged and Welcomed.)
1. Chapter 1

**1**

"Hey, Intern, I'm bored."

"My name's Ian," He looked up, staring at the dark haired Darcy Lewis as he asked disbelievingly, "How can you be bored? We just helped save the world!"

Darcy sighed, rolling her eyes as she sat up and said condescendingly, "I know that. _That's_ the problem! I like saving the world. I like seeing aliens invade. I like watching Thor fly around and hit people with his hammer. It's fun."

"Thor's still here."

"Yeah, but he's with Jane. And you know she won't let him go flying off now. He left for two years. Two! You have no idea how sad she was."

Ian sensed that he was about to bring to light a whole sea of old memories and instead asked quickly, "How about we go looking for the creature?"

Darcy's eyes lit up. She leaned forward, "What creature?"

Ian spun his laptop so she could see the image on its screen. It was blurry, but the outline of a huge, grey beast could be clearly seen against the sunset. Darcy stared for several long seconds and then she said, "Intern, go get the car."

He got to his feet, smiling to himself as he said, "My name's Ian."

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**Well, here's number one. As I said, requests are welcome. So, if you have anything you'd like to see: PM me or let me know in a Review and I'll see what I can do to make it happen.**

**P.S. The cover image belongs to shangraf-srh. You can find her on deviantART. **


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha sighed as she looked in the mirror. She had a scrape along her left cheekbone and a small cut in her left brow. She raised her hand, one finger extended. She dabbed antiseptic cream gently on the cut and winced as the cut throbbed in protest of the gentle touch. She dabbed what was left on the scrape.

She exited the small bathroom, switching off the light as she did.

Briefly, a frightened face flashed in front of her eyes and she flinched.

The room she had been given at Star Tower was large and had an amazing view of the surrounding city. The city's lights lit up her dark room, and the sound of traffic and construction was not entirely blocked out by her walls and windows. Natasha sighed and turned to her dresser. More specifically, she turned to fiddle with the large, extremely expensive, CD player atop it.

She bent slightly as she turned the CD player on.

As the strains of soft violin music began to play, Natasha sighed and tilted her head back, arching her back as she twisted her neck from side to side to release the tension coiled there. She took several steps away from the dresser, raised her arms, rose onto the balls of her feet, and began, slowly, to dance.

For her, ballet was soothing. It helped Natasha relax; it also, almost, made her forget.

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**Here's number two. Thanks to: Lead Owl and CaptiveAuthor for the Favs. **


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper Potts stared at the man in front of her. His hair was blown back, his face was covered in soot and he was missing his eyebrows. She crossed her arms, cocked her hip and said sharply, "Tony, I know you don't want to go to the board meeting, but isn't this a little extreme?"

"It wasn't me! Dummy did it!"

Pepper looked in the robot's direction. Under her cold gaze it ducked its head and scooted several feet away, letting out a soft crooning noise as it did. Pepper turned back to Tony, "You have ten minutes to get ready; otherwise I'm putting Jarvis in charge."

"You can't put him in charge. He's a computer program."

Jarvis' calm voice filled the air, "Sir, I may be a computer program, but I do believe I would do an admirable job as head of the company."

"Of course you would," Pepper said.

Tony stared at her, lips thrust out in a half pout, "I'm in charge."

Pepper stepped out of the doorway, hardening her expression as she said firmly, "Go get dressed."

Tony did as he was told, albeit slowly. As he passed her, he muttered obstinately, "I'm in charge." As he headed into the hallway, Pepper heard him mutter more loudly, "I'm in charge."

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**Here's number three. Thanks to: 2015nan, hawkeye-of-shield, and johncorn for the Follows. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Jane, your hair. What is wrong with it?"

Jane rubbed her eyes, yawning as she poured a cup of coffee and replied, voice raspy with sleep, "Nothing, I just haven't straightened it yet."

"It looks as if I hit you with a bolt of lightning."

Jane rolled her eyes as she turned around and glanced at Thor. He sat at the small table, shirtless, hair still smooth despite sleep, and eyes bright and alert. She walked over slowly and set the coffee cup in front of Thor. She smiled at him and said, "It always looks like this in the morning. It'll look normal later."

Thor stared at her. He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes as he asked curiously, "What is different about your face?"

"I don't have makeup on."

Thor reached out, brushing her right cheek gently with the tips of his fingers. Jane blushed at the contact and ducked her head. Thor sat back, picking up the cup and draining it. He said reflectively, "You look lovely however you choose to adorn your face."

Jane hid her smile by letting her curtain of tangled hair fall across her face.


	5. Chapter 5

"What do you mean we're out of gas?"

Clint didn't reply for several long seconds, then he said, "I forgot to pick up the gas can."

Natasha appeared beside him, hands on her hips and eyes blazing. She spoke very slowly as she asked, "How the hell do you forget the gas can? We need the gas can. We are now trapped in the middle of Area Fifty-One with no gas. We aren't even supposed to be here, and you forget the gas can!"

"To be fair, you forgot to get a car with a working air conditioning."

"How is that fair?"

"I like travelling in style and comfort."

Natasha stared at him, mouth slightly open. She shook her head and said, "Well, let's start walking."


	6. Chapter 6

Bruce stared at the cracked mirror, the overturned furniture and the shattered windows.

Tony spoke up from behind him, "Next time you have the urge to Hulk out, try and remember to do it outside. The cleaning crew are threatening to quit."

Bruce turned to Tony, utterly apologetic as he said, "God, Tony, I'm sorry. I'll pay for the damage."

"No offense," Tony laughed, "But I don't think you could afford to do that."

"How would you know," Bruce asked shortly.

"I hacked your bank account."

Bruce stared at him, "You what?"

"Shit, did I say that out loud?" Tony backed out of the doorway quickly and disappeared down the hall.

Bruce calmly followed him into the hall, calmly chased down the shorter man, calmly pinned him against the wall, and very, very calmly said, "I must have heard you wrong. Did you say you hacked into my bank account, or am I imagining things?"

Tony stared at him, then said hesitantly, hopefully, "You imagined it?"

Bruce's eyes narrowed.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

Clint threw the cup at the billionaire's head, "Dammit Tony!"

Tony ducked and the cup smashed against the kitchen's far wall. He raised his hands and said, "I was just kidding! God, it was supposed to be funny!"

"It wasn't funny!"

"Of course it was! You just don't have a sense of humor!"

"I have a great sense of humor!"

"You do not!"

"How would you know?"

"Someone with a great sense of humor would have thought it was funny!"

"Screw you Stark!"

The archer turned and stalked out.

Tony shouted after him, "That's not nice!"

Steve spoke up - from his position beside the fridge - slightly hesitantly, "What was all that about?"

Tony shrugged, "He doesn't like being called Robin Hood."


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

Pepper stared at the ruins of the Christmas tree. It had been split in two. The charred remains of presents littered the smashed floor. She looked around, noting the broken windows and ruined furniture. The once white walls had scorch marks all over them. One couch had been ripped open and the other hung half in and half out of a nearby window. The fully stocked bar was now empty and the mahogany counter top had been set afire and had burned away to a cinder.

She turned and asked the seated, and sheepish, adults - each one nursing an injury of some sort - that made up the near unstoppable team called the 'Avengers,' and said, "This is why Fury doesn't leave you without a babysitter."

Tony muttered, "Steve started it."

"I did not!"

"You did so," Clint put in.

"How is this Steve's fault?" Natasha sighed slightly as she asked the question.

Bruce almost rolled his eyes as he replied, "He started singing."

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**Sorry this is so late, and so short, but Christmas was crazy. **


	9. Chapter 9

**9: Request: AU: Nanny!Coulson and Non-American Agent Hill. **

"I don't want to shoot you."

The barrel of the gun against the back of the woman's neck prompted her to freeze. She raised her hands slightly as she replied, "I don't want to be shot."

Agent Phil Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. allowed his eyes to rake methodically up and down the length of the woman's lean body. She had long toned legs, a slender torso, and broad shoulders despite her otherwise narrow build. Coulson deduced that, in spite of the rather skintight nature of the woman's blue/black cat-suit, there were at least eight semi-concealed weapons on her person. He estimated that there were several other weapons that the suit concealed perfectly and made sure to keep his grip on his gun steady and his body well away from the reach of her long legs.

He asked shortly, "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged, still facing away from him, "Wanna take a wild guess?"

"It was a rhetorical question. I know why you are here Maria."

She started at his use of her first name and nearly turned to face him. Instead, she merely asked, "And just what am I doing here?"

"Correct me if I am wrong, buy you are here to glean any information you can from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s archives about the Avengers initiative."

"You're not wrong."

Coulson allowed a triumphant, if brief, smile to cross his face as he said, "The way you managed to get into the ship was impressive. You're the first person able to do it, without magic."

Now she turned, a half smile on her attractive features as she asked, "Does that make me special?"

"Incredibly." His voice hardened, "You know I can't allow you to leave. The information you have is highly sensitive and in the wrong hands could lead to chaos."

"And what would you do to stop me?"

He answered honestly, worry for the individuals that made up the Avengers overriding Fury's orders, "As such information makes you a threat, I would eliminate you."

Her eyes narrowed, "You care about them."

"I do."

"What are you?" Her upper lip curled as she joked, "Their nanny?"

"You could say that," He replied thoughtfully.

Her sneer softened as did her eyes. She nibbled her lower lip, then she muttered, "Damn it." She reached up, one hand slipping inside the confines of her suit near her breasts. She pulled out a slim black memory card. She held it up in two fingers and said, "Here."

She tossed it to him. Coulson's gaze shifted from her to the memory card.

In that instant she whirled and dashed away down the hall.

Coulson allowed her to go.

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**As requested by Guest. I hope this is what you were looking for, and thanks so much for the Request. **


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